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A black winged bird sat atop a roof,
Nonchalantly humming its caws and coos.
For there on the street – down yonder it peered,
At the coming of jeers; the walking of fear.

It saluted its foe and hopped to and fro,
Unaware that behind the mask was a heart of gold.
But the blood stained cheeks and pale white hands
Reached out for the bird, thus it succumbed to their demands.

Feathers flew in the wind from the night time air,
A whirlwind of darkness – only the night could compare;
The bird found a place where it could perch and respite,
On the shoulder of a corpse – oh, what a delight!

A chuckle from a mouth that the heavens forbade,
Gave room for the next few words that were said:
"Blackbird, blackbird! Why have you come?
In this unruly hour the night will be undone!
The children on the street are marching one by one,
To innocent to know that a nightmare has begun."

He clasped his hands when he finished his speech,
His shoulders were shaking in delicious relief –
Twitching away until he found his grave,
And he collapsed into the space the world had saved.

A black winged bird sat atop his tombstone,
Nonchalantly whispering its miserable moans.
For in the dirt – down yonder it gazed,
At the child of death; so startlingly amazed that,
The night time sky wrapped away his appearance,
Replacing the horror with a yearly romance.
For the contest in the group #JustKeepWriting

Enjoy my fairytale <3
Add a Comment:
 
:iconladymortimus:
LadyMortimus Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Student General Artist
This is amazing! Wonderful job. It flows so nicely, I just couldn't stop reading it.
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Dec 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :]
Reply
:iconsmokedragon:
smokedragon Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012
The pictures you paint with your words, and the story you convey, are both fantastic!
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you ^.^
Reply
:iconnhavie:
nhavie Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012
Mmm, sorry to spam, but I just read it again and can't get over how much I love it! Just thought you should know how amazing of a writer you are. =3
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much :]
Reply
:iconnhavie:
nhavie Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012
Oh, this is such a delight to read! I love when little stories are in poems. They always have a personal message from the author if you review it well, and you've weaved a wonderful tale here, and very nice form. I've been highly entertained by your delicious work here! ^_^

I do agree with Methemac a little though, there's a few small instances of beat loss for a second, but it's really not too noticeable. Also, in the last line of the verse " A chuckle from a mouth..", I believe the first to in that sentence should be too. Not sure if that was intentional or not,
Reply
:icon3rddemonbro:
3rddemonbro Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
seems like edgar allen poes poem the raven
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
So i've been told :S
Reply
:icon3rddemonbro:
3rddemonbro Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
its still a great poem
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thanks :)
Reply
:icon3rddemonbro:
3rddemonbro Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
no prob ^^ did u read my entry by any chance?
Reply
:iconjadesfires:
jadesfires Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011   Writer
This is an absolutely beautiful poem, in a dark sort of way. My favorite kind. I love the story. As someone else already said, very Poe-esque, and as he is one of my favorite poets, that is quite the compliment. You have quite a way with words, such a comfortable style.

Good luck in the contest, btw. I entered as well, but I see that you have beaten me out by far. :D
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Aww thanks ! I'm really proud of this poem too ^.^ I'm glad you like it!

& good luck to you as well! I'll have to read your work, I'm sure it's amazing :]
Reply
:iconjadesfires:
jadesfires Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011   Writer
You're welcome :D
Reply
:iconard0r0us:
Ard0R0us Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Enjoyable read. I liked the feel and the language.

typo: 'To innocent' > 'Too innocent'
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :D

And word changed that for me when i typed it using 'too' T_T
Reply
:iconard0r0us:
Ard0R0us Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
My software sometimes does that too. I think it's enthusiastic for the opportunity.
Reply
:iconchamberlainofravens:
ChamberlainOfRavens Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011  Professional Photographer
Thanks for your entry on our humble contest.
This piece is, ultimately, amazing. It somewhat follows the style of Poe, and regarding to syllables and whatnot, who the hell am I to judge something so complex and subjective as poetry? :)
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I have never really read many of Poe's works, however a lot of people seem to say my style is similiar to his, I hope that is a good thing :)
Reply
:iconchamberlainofravens:
ChamberlainOfRavens Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011  Professional Photographer
Well, to me, definitely. He's my favorite poet :D
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Aww awesome xD
Reply
:iconchamberlainofravens:
ChamberlainOfRavens Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011  Professional Photographer
He IS awesome. And, therefore by similarities, you are too :D
Reply
:icondreamsinstatic:
dreamsinstatic Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2011
Thanks for your entry and good luck.
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thanks :D
Reply
:iconemilythezombie:
EmilytheZombie Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2011
Very good~ :3
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconemilythezombie:
EmilytheZombie Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2011
:3 Your very welcome~!
Reply
:iconcuriouslycute:
curiouslycute Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2011   Digital Artist
I like it!! :heart: very cool!! :meow:
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
thanks :)
Reply
:icongabrielarkangel:
GabrielArkAngel Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2011
Agreed with Methhmac, a few lines have too many syllables and it slightly takes away from the rhythm. I am very fond of the "olde" styling, coupled with a macabre gesture along the lines of E. A. Poe.

This is definitely a good-un. Just edit your grammar in a few spots (too, not to for instance), and find another suitable word or arrangement to keep the flow.

Good job, Ms. Alex (=
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Mmm, idk i like it the way it is, and I probably read it differenlty than the both of you do seeing as i wrote it.

and about that 'too' issue, word corrected me haha.
Reply
:iconmethemac:
Methemac Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Nice, I enjoyed this quite a bit. You should turn it into a song, and post it on youtube. Btw, I saw that you removed one of your songs on youtube, and I was gonna watch it today TT^TT

There are a couple of lines that seem out of place in terms of the beat, like they have one syllable too many. Other that that the rest worked quite well.
Reply
:iconalxplaysguitar:
alxplaysguitar Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Oh haha, i removed it a long time ago,

and you think so? Idk... I kind of like it the way it is, maybe i just read it different than you did xD haha
Reply
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